is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
