is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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