You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
