oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
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