You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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