he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Randomize
