I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
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