we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize