She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
My Sexting was not on an AP level
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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