hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I need a beard to bite.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
