last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
You were trust falling into bushes
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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