So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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