This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Randomize
