Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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