smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
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