Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Randomize
