my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
