My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
