when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Randomize
