Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize