I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
