i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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