when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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