I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize