Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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