he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
