it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
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