Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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