:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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