My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
one might say we're banned from that church
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
