Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Randomize
