i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Two words: nipple clamps
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