He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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