didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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