just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Randomize
