New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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