It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
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