I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
