Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
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