dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Randomize
