Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(910): View more from North Carolina

so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants

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(910): so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants http://tfl.nu/bero

Replies (42) Good night (731) Bad night (12077)
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(978): View more from Massachusetts

If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.

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(978): If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises. http://tfl.nu/xzxa

Replies (8) Good night (4184) Bad night (1547)
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(952): View more from Minnesota

I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night

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(952): I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night http://tfl.nu/yysc

Replies (3) Good night (2623) Bad night (1077)
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(203): View more from Connecticut

I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth

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(203): I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth http://tfl.nu/68yw

Replies (38) Good night (5606) Bad night (1734)
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(714): View more from California

For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.

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(714): For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out. http://tfl.nu/58i4

Replies (3) Good night (2713) Bad night (992)
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(301): View more from Maryland

Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.

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(301): Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again. http://tfl.nu/u94k

Replies (4) Good night (2054) Bad night (1313)
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(281): View more from Texas

Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.

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(281): Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'. http://tfl.nu/zfmg

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(214): View more from Texas

So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.

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(214): So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo. http://tfl.nu/7r9s

Replies (3) Good night (1812) Bad night (555)
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(336): View more from North Carolina

If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.

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(336): If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone. http://tfl.nu/bfil

Replies (12) Good night (1350) Bad night (540)
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(917): View more from New York City

How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?

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(917): How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do? http://tfl.nu/h8p0

Replies (5) Good night (1162) Bad night (504)
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(941): View more from Florida

Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.

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(941): Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants. http://tfl.nu/rame

Replies (31) Good night (1357) Bad night (557)
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(404): View more from Georgia

No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"

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(404): No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party" http://tfl.nu/5res

Replies (5) Good night (1175) Bad night (452)
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(770): View more from Georgia

but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer

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(770): but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer http://tfl.nu/kkfh

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(905): View more from Ontario

I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle

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(905): I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle http://tfl.nu/bb9s

Replies (2) Good night (791) Bad night (319)
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(702): View more from Nevada

I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes

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(702): I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes http://tfl.nu/0alc

Replies (1) Good night (480) Bad night (195)

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