# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Randomize
