Texts From Last Night

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  (514): View more from Quebec

  Good luck man

  (1-514): View more from Quebec

  I dont need it. Shes easy.

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  (514): Good luck man (1-514): I dont need it. Shes easy. http://tfl.nu/vh2g
  Replies (8) Good night (1956) Bad night (607)
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  (618): View more from Illinois

  id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.

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  (618): id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga. http://tfl.nu/30m7
  Replies (37) Good night (2575) Bad night (601)
• Favorite

  (817): View more from Texas

  Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.

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  (817): Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have. http://tfl.nu/2nqb
  Replies (23) Good night (647) Bad night (4591)
• Favorite

  (501): View more from Arkansas

  Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.

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  (501): Turns out vomit takes off spray tan. http://tfl.nu/8hd7
  Replies (10) Good night (817) Bad night (4950)
• Favorite

  (778): View more from British Columbia

  The beer is more important than you right now.

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  (778): The beer is more important than you right now. http://tfl.nu/guwa
  Replies (8) Good night (3562) Bad night (1334)
• Favorite

  (312): View more from Illinois

  If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.

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  (312): If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab. http://tfl.nu/3osp
  Replies (7) Good night (3902) Bad night (1241)
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  You know, be my cock's hype man.

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  (732): You know, be my cock's hype man. http://tfl.nu/5yns
  Replies (3) Good night (2570) Bad night (800)
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.

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  (519): Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife. http://tfl.nu/uqm2
  Replies (13) Good night (1447) Bad night (5280)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.

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  (412): I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go. http://tfl.nu/523r
  Replies (12) Good night (4139) Bad night (1302)
• Favorite

  (678): View more from Georgia

  You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"

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  (678): You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed" http://tfl.nu/kcte
  Replies (7) Good night (2242) Bad night (557)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.

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  (503): We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went. http://tfl.nu/bmv3
  Replies (4) Good night (1171) Bad night (846)
• Favorite

  (818): View more from California

  I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.

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  (818): I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job. http://tfl.nu/0hbs
  Replies (13) Good night (2547) Bad night (853)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy

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  (214): And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy http://tfl.nu/y3l1
  Replies (14) Good night (2147) Bad night (645)
• Favorite

  (562): View more from California

  Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?

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  (562): Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream? http://tfl.nu/nras
  Replies (1) Good night (649) Bad night (204)
• Favorite

  (514): View more from Quebec

  When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.

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  (514): When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets. http://tfl.nu/fn7y
  Replies (12) Good night (1064) Bad night (259)

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