using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds