I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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