he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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