i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Randomize
