can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Randomize
