Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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