am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
Randomize
