Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Randomize
