would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
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