Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
