I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
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