I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
