Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
