Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Randomize
