No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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