Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
