dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
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