The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
