dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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