I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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