Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
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