i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
