JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
