...so i touched it.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Randomize
