He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
